Mediation
Mediation Works
Congratulations … if you are interested in exploring mediation, you have made a decision that something needs to change in your life and you are willing to take responsibility to do something about it.
Critical times of change or conflict test our character like nothing else … but neither change or conflict are something to be afraid of or ignore. A lot of conflict will not just “go away,” but unresolved, it will fester and grow. Good things are often waiting on the other side of your change or conflict.
Mediation is … the facilitated process of problem solving which parties in dispute can use to help bridge differences and reach mutually agreed upon “win-win” solutions through cooperation and collaboration, with the help of an impartial third party to guide them through the conflict resolution process that ensures each party feels heard and understood.
Is it time for you to consider Mediation?
Mediation videos available here
Mediation Services Provided at F.A.I.R. Solutions:
- Family Mediation: Learn skills to repair or rebuild family relationships in conflict, creating more family cohesiveness (parents, kids, siblings, grandparents, step-family relationships, in-laws, and other relatives)
- Divorce Mediation: Facilitating dialogue, working through differences, helping you make your decisions without using attorneys, and completing agreements (division of assets and debts, custody and parenting time of children, ongoing financial support of children, division of co-parenting responsibilities, and anything else you believe are important needs for your unique circumstances)
- Never-Married (and Separated) Parents with Kids: Facilitating dialogue, working through differences, helping you make your decisions without using attorneys, and completing agreements (division of assets and debts, custody and parenting time of children, ongoing financial support of children, division of co-parenting responsibilities, and anything else you believe are important needs for your unique circumstances)
- Post-Divorce Mediation: Facilitating solutions for unexpected details or evolving parenting plans based on changing circumstances to avoid court or as required before court
- Parent-Youth Mediation: Getting your children involved in problem solving parent-child issues
- Strengthen and Save Marriages: Learning to communicate better and handle conflict differently can rebuild and strengthen trust, loyalty, and respect that lead to greater appreciation for each other
- Elder Care Mediation: Helping families collaborate to find agreeable solutions to difficult decisions for elderly parents as you plan for living transitions, necessary care, and important end of life dialogue related to assets, trusts, legacy wishes, and other difficult topics
- Organizational Conflict Resolution: Solve corporate/organizational conflicts, conflicting goals, competing procedures, personality issues the prevent teamwork, etc. that inhibit results in any level of the organization or overall culture
What is Mediation?
Mediation is a strategy or approach to conflict resolution. Mediation can be used anytime you have reached a stalemate, or impasse, and feel “stuck.” Mediation is a process of using an impartial third party to resolve conflict that arrives at an outcome mutually satisfying and agreeable to the parties. The neutral third party (mediator) facilitates productive conversation and meaningful dialogue that leads you to explore options and find your own creative solutions to problems that result in mutually satisfying win-win outcomes.
The mediator creates a judgment-free environment that promotes understanding and acceptance of others and ensures that each party feels heard and understood. The mediator removes any sense of who is right and who is wrong. The mediator discourages blame or shame of the past and helps people work together and participate equally on developing the best solutions for the future. Blame feeds anger. Anger clouds judgment. Eliminating blame is a critical piece.
Disagreements, disputes, and conflict are often highly emotional. Emotions escalate due to many things including conflicting and competing needs, past hurts, fears, baggage from the past, and much more. The mediator helps the parties to recognize and deal with these emotions, and overcome emotional barriers to agreement.
How Does Mediation Work?
Mediation is still a relatively new field that is unfamiliar to most people. During mediation, the mediator works with you to define the conflict and guide you through a process that will enable you to communicate more effectively together. The mediator is trained to de-escalate conflict and minimize hostility to facilitate a fair process of constructive conversation that will lead you to effective mutually satisfying problem solving. In mediation, it is believed that the people best suited to solve the conflict are the ones in conflict and closest to the situation.
The mediator is not making any of the decisions, but is there to simply guide the participating parties through their discussion. The mediator can’t force a decision on you.
Mediation is a process of communication that encourages cooperative problem-solving that allows for more creative and satisfactory outcomes. The process is a learned skill that will preserve the dignity of the parties and maintain respect and even grow in greater appreciation of each other.
The mediator does not impose a solution but rather assists the parties to develop new skills and create their own understanding and plan for how the future can be and will be different. Mediated agreements, especially in situations involving families and divorce, often include unique solutions tailored to specific situations that are not available in arbitration or litigation through the court system.
Nothing in mediation is legally binding, but anything you agree together during mediation can become legally binding if you both want that. For divorce mediation, your mediator will complete a Memorandum of Agreement that is provided by an attorney to file this with any additional (but minimal) legal paperwork to finalize the divorce.
To get more information request a FREE one hour orientation. During this session you will learn more details about the process and you will be able to ask any questions.
Who Are Mediators?
Mediators come to the field of mediation with different backgrounds including psychology, business, social work, therapy, the legal field, and more. If the mediator is also an attorney, they are prohibited from representing either party for whom they are acting as a neutral. Your mediator will provide full disclosure of their background. No matter which field the mediator comes from, all mediators must be trained to mediate as mediation requires a very different skill set than litigation, counseling, management, or psychotherapy.
The Minnesota State Court system requires that all “qualified” mediators complete an course certified through State Court Administration. The course must meet the requirements in Rule 114.13. After completion of the required coursework a qualified neutral can be listed on the Rule 114 Neutral Roster with the Minnesota State Court system.
At F.A.I.R. Solutions, our mediators are intentionally NOT attorneys. It is our belief that as mediation has gained popularity over litigation, many lawyers are claiming to be mediators simply to increase their business. Because attorneys are trained to go into a win-lose battle, and be zealous advocates for one party at the expense of the other, attorneys often have trouble being anything but legal negotiators who are professionals at making you feel comfortable with their idea of the best legal solution, rather than truly being a neutral who is simply facilitating a discussion where you decide the best win-win outcome for yourselves. Attorneys tend to play the role of active problem solver for the parties, analyzing the strength of each person’s argument, and persuading each side to compromise to an outcome the attorney would typically get in court. This is not real mediation. Real mediation is facilitating a dialogue where the parties create their own mutually satisfying outcome, free from most statutory limitations.